5 Helpful Tips for the Studying Parent
You’ve started a family and then decided to begin/return to school with hopes of pursuing your dreams and providing a better life for your kids. Though it sounds like a great idea, it’s an uphill battle where the stakes are higher than they are for many others. Some of you may be working as well, while trying to manage a household and earn your degree. With that said, kids are still kids and have the same needs whether you’re in college or not. Basically, you have to become a superhero! Here are a few tips to help you manage both and save your sanity.
Structure Your Time
Prioritize the things that are most important or need to be done immediately. Often when people try attending to everything, they complete nothing. Paying bills, feeding the kids, doctor appointments, and taking them to and from school are things that absolutely need to be done in order to maintain your family’s minimum level of functioning. Calendars, task lists, and cell phone reminders are visuals that will help you and your kids stay on track and not become overwhelmed with things to do. Create a household “homework time” for your kids and yourself…in which you are all in the same room, the house is quiet, and everyone must stay busy. Overtime, this will become a family routine that helps your kids become responsible adults. Also, schedule dinner and bedtime as early as possible. The first few weeks will be difficult to maintain, but stick with it and you will see positive results.
2. Enlist Help
If you have a support system, allow them to help you out. Whether large or small tasks, family members and friends could take one item off of your agenda and make your day less stressful. Help could be a friend taking the kids to the park while you study or your mother cooking dinner for the family. Every little bit counts. Your kids can also help the family out by completing their chores or helping you out in the kitchen. Give the kids age-appropriate tasks that are manageable and don’t create more work for you. Even if it’s not done perfectly, it may be good enough to mark off the list and save time. Often a parent’s pride gets in the way of asking for help, but even superheroes need a sidekick.
3. Let Go of Guilt
Parenting is the hardest job in the world and never without mistakes, thus guilt is normal. But holding onto too much guilt can undermine your parenting abilities. Often, studying parents feel guilt about spending less time for their kids and not being able to give them the attention they need. Some parents overcompensate by letting spoiling the kids with gifts or letting them get away with bad behavior. This may be a time to tighten up the rules and model important life lessons that build character. They may not understand your sacrifices now, but will appreciate their quality of living once you’re in a better paying job.
4. Choose Your Battles
Being a parent and a college student is an overload of responsibilities. In this situation, things will never be perfect. There will always be challenges and stressors that pop-up, so figure what’s most important. Ask yourself “what’s the worse that will happen if I don’t deal with this now?” If it’s between studying for a final exam and making sure your kid’s bedroom is clean…study for the exam.
5. Rest and Breathe
Remember how I mentioned scheduling an early bedtime? Sleep is more important that most people think. Your brain and body need to rejuvenate so that you have enough energy to take on the next day. A 20-30 minute power nap is an effective way to get recharged on lunch breaks or in between classes. Also, remember to stop and breathe. Stress causes people to hold their breath in anticipation of the next challenge, but our brains need oxygen to work effectively. Taking time to rest, relax, and breathe are necessary to maintain your mental and physical health while being a studying parent.
